A Keen Observer

A Keen Observer, DeepDownSlytherin - 2005-6

From authors asking fans not to write fanfics, to the belief that fic-writing is something done by those without the creativity or talent to create original work, by way of Fifty Shades of Worst Series Ever Written originating as fanfic of Another Godawful Book, fanfiction tends to have a bad reputation. And like most stereotypes, there is a fair amount of evidence to support the idea, without for a moment meaning that it is true. There are some truly terrible fanfics. There is a reason why ‘crack-fic’ is a term, coming from the notion that one would have to be on crack to write it in the first place. For that matter, there is a reason why the terms ‘fluff’, a code that explicitly advertises syrupy sweetness and ‘pwp’, literally porn without plot, exist. However, within the vast sphere that is fanfiction there are also examples of superb characterisation, excellent writing and storytelling every bit as elegant as some of award-winning works featured on this blog. With that said, on to DeepDownSlytherin’s (DDS from here on in) beautiful fic A Keen Observer, set in the world of J.K Rowling’s Harry Potter books.

(I’m just going to go ahead and assume anyone reading this is at least vaguely familiar with the Potterverse, at least to the extent of knowing Hogwarts, Dumbledore, Voldemort etc. If you’re not… I have no words…)  

All rights to JK Rowling and Bloomsbury

The Black family is one of the most powerful and influential pure-blooded families in the wizarding world, moving only in elite society with an overriding belief in their own superiority.

Andromeda Black is the middle child in the latest generation, between the older, fiery Bellatrix and Narcissa, the vain and diva-ish little sister, and is the quietest and most reflective of the three. When she goes off to Hogwarts, like all of her family she is sorted into Slytherin, though due more to her fierce intelligence and pride, rather than the ruthlessness and ambition for which the house is also known. It is in her first Defence Against the Dark Arts class that she is seated next to Ted Tonks, a Muggle-born Ravenclaw boy, who is immediately determined to befriend her, both by being continually warm and pleasant, and by establishing an intense rivalry over their grades. Despite her initial contempt of him due to his status as a mudblood, their friendship develops and he continues to be an important presence in her life throughout the highs and lows of their seven years at Hogwarts. Eventually, after considerable denial on both sides, and recognising the difficulties they will face, Andy and Ted admit their love for one another. However, the wizarding world is changing, and the pure-blood prejudices against Muggle-born ‘mudbloods’ is being whipped up by a mysterious dark wizard, who holds a particular, terrifying fascination for Bellatrix; a wizard called Lord Voldemort…

Though it was written over ten years ago now, what struck me most when I first read the fic a year ago, and continues to surprise me every time I re-read it, is how relevant the story feels today. Indeed, with JK herself having drawn direct parallels between Death Eaters and the alt/far-right, DDS’s exploration of the radicalisation of the entitled elite seems more brilliant with each reading. Furthermore, if one reads A Keen Observer and compares it to the real life defection from the alt-right of Derek Black (how’s that for a coincidence in names?) the similarities are startling, and credit is due to DDS for the nuanced way she shows Andy realising the monstrous dark side of the pure-blood world’s entitlement. However, while Andy comes to see the inherent toxicity of the society in which she grew up, DDS is very careful to humanise and understand all of her characters. Significantly, one of the functions of fanfic can be to amend perceived issues with the canonical text, such as LGBT visibility, and one of the issues returned to again and again in the Potterverse is the demonisation of Slytherin House. Along with the cruel, vicious and utterly superior figures, who one is aware will become Death Eaters post-Hogwarts, DDS presents us with a number of gentler, more moderate Slytherins, in addition to Andy herself, people who are as horrified by the onset of war as the students of other houses.


The handling of the characters, those well-established by Rowling, those named in canon but only developed by DDS, and those created by her, is superb, as DDS not only vividly realises them, but also shows them change, both obviously and subtly, as they grow up. There are some moments of laugh-out-loud hilarity from Sirius and James Potter as their friendship evolves, but Sirius also carries the weight of being Andy’s forerunner; as he matures he finds the narrow-minded pure-blood worldview so intolerable that he furiously, joyfully abandons it forever. In terms of characters, however, the story belongs to Andy, Ted and Bellatrix. DDS shows us the sisters as genuinely loving and devoted to one another throughout their childhood which serves to make the eventual breakdown of their relationship all the more moving. We understand Bellatrix’s pain and fury at the perceived betrayal of Andy falling in love with a Muggle-born, even as Andy is becoming increasingly, terrifyingly aware of how dangerous the pure-blood ideology, not to mention Bellatrix herself, has become. DDS’s depiction of Bellatrix is still moving, even when we know full well what she will grow up to be, because she presents her to us through Andy’s eyes and shows us Bella, the precocious, wilful girl, talented and impetuous, then allows her to drift in and out of the narrative until Andy faces the painful realisation that she barely recognises her once-adored sister. Ted, for his part, is kind, patient, understanding, comforting, and also stubborn, ready and willing to fight, clever, witty and charming and daring enough to initially pursue a friendship with Andromeda Black. If this sounds too good to be true, it is a tribute to the skill of DDS that she makes him completely believable. And as for our narrator herself, Andy is a wonderful creation; insightful, clever, stubborn, occasionally highly dense and deeply loving. A character changing on a fundamental level is difficult to write well and it is the highest praise to DDS that she makes this narrative of the girl from the most elite of all pure-blood families who fell in love with a Muggle-born utterly convincing.


A key factor in what makes A Keen Observer work is that, for all that the setting is familiar, and many beats of the story, such as Sirius running away from home, are prescribed by the canon, the emotional narrative is entirely DDS’s own and, unlike certain other franchises that started as fanfic, could completely work out of universe. However, DDS uses the Potter canon to add extra layers and colours to the narrative; the squabbles of Lily Evans and James Potter are even more entertaining because we know where their turbulent relationship is going. By contrast, the most chilling moment in A Keen Observer comes when the teenage Bella rudely questions a stranger at a masquerade ball. He never actually appears in the story again, but the gloriously dark image of Lord Voldemort placing Bellatrix’s costume mask on her and tying it, is one of the most effective moments in a narrative full of them.


A Keen Observer is many things; a dark family chronicle, a wonderfully written love-story, and above all, the story of a young woman who determines to leave the world in which she grew up, not only for love, but in defiance of an ingrained hierarchical ideology that she chooses to abandon in favour of a life built on empathy, respect and love. If you are a Harry Potter fan, I cannot recommend it highly enough, and if you’re not, still give it a whirl. It really is worth it.

The all important link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2489360/1/A-Keen-Observer